The baby shower of which I've written incessantly and you, like true friends, have tolerated patiently is now over. To those of you who urged me to have one, who told me I'd regret it if I didn't: you were right. My friends did an amazing job. The decorations, the personalized goody bags, the delicious food, the generosity of my friends with the gifts blew my mind. How many showers have I left early, driving home as hot salty tears ran down my face? How many excuses did I make to avoid going after my losses? I'm glad I got to experience what its like to be a normal pregnant person. I'm glad I got to sit with people touching my belly and telling me labor horror stories and ooh and aw over onesies. I feel overwhelmed. As soon as I get pics I will put some up!
Another reason I feel overwhelmed is I allowed myself sweets despite the GD and I seriously am shaking and fidgety like I inhaled a bag of crack. Sunflower too, is mighty stoked. I checked my numbers and I was high but not above my numbers. Phew.
As soon as it was over I came home and stared at my belly, willing myself to be the urban legend "she had the shower and went into labor that night!" I know, I sound demented but hope is a crazy thing. The biggest gift of all is wrapped up inside my womb right now. Anyways, I've learned that while the mind is a powerful thing, its not enough to put you in labor at will. I'm walking, eating spicy food, and tomorrow we're going to eat lunch at a famous place in town where the Eggplant dish purportedly puts women into labor. The only one we're not trying is the only one proven to work, the sex. I feel like I swallowed a bowling ball so the thought of getting jiggy with it just doesn't appeal at the moment.
In any case, I'm happy. So incredibly happy. When I feel this happy I sometimes get scared that it will be snatched from me because happiness is a temporary gift sometimes. I'm going to try to let that fear go and just relish the moment right now of feeling like a normal pregnant person.