Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Losing Speck

Today is the anniversary of when I lost Speck. I dreaded this day for months. I wondered what I would say, but today, I feel fine. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Why should this day hurt less or more than any other? It's like the silliness of Valentines Day. It's fine to set aside a day but the truth is, I don't miss or feel sad any more today than I do any other day of the week just as my love for Jack doesn't alter because its an anniversary or V-day. Regardless of what people may think of a 10.5 week fetus, the fact is he was a part of me. When I lost him, I lost a part of me. I don't need a date to remember this. When you lose a piece of yourself, you always remember.


  1. You've said it perfectly...I always miss Declan and Sophie, no matter when it is...

  2. Truer words could not have been spoken on such an occasion.
    I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. What an awful day. It sucks that anyone has to have these types of "anniversaries". And your last bit from "Regardless of what people may think of a 10.5 week fetus..." on, oh that tore a little bit of my heart out. I know all too well what you mean.

    Thinking of you.

  4. I said a little prayer for both you and Speck last night. I know that he's missed and longed for with equal intensity, no matter what the day....but that doesn't make this anniversary any less painful to endure.