After I hit publish on my previous post, I went to bed. Jack wanted to listen to Sunflower with our doppler. We couldn't find it. After ten minutes, the longest ten where the world went completely pitch silent, we found it, faint at 120 beats a minute. Jack felt satisfied. I didn't. I poked him. Nothing. I jiggled my belly. Nothing. I drank half a glass of OJ. Nothing. I went downstairs and lay on the sofa. Two hours ten kicks is the standard. In two hours he made about 7-8 subtle movements, mostly in response to my pokes. I decided he was alive and somewhat moving so I'd call if he didn't get a little more active in the morning. This morning again, nothing in response to my pokes. he did get the hiccups but Dr. Google says that doesnt count as part of the kick test. The OB advised me to eat breakfast with some OJ and lie on my side and do a kick test for an hour. If that does nothing they'll have me come in for monitoring.
I'm on a parent listserv. Just had the nerves to sign up for it last week. Sometimes people sell things that have never been used like a bumbo or jumparoo. This makes sense, maybe they thought they'd use it but never did. Today I saw someone selling a bouncer, a car seat, a swing, a baby tub, never used. My blood went cold. Why are they selling never used baby things? I think of my living room filled with amazon boxes, the baby registry I'm working on, and. . . yeah, I begin feeling scared shitless.
I get that I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. Totally get it. But. For fuck's sake, can't I ever just preen naively, liken myself to a cute walrus and say everything looks good without the universe gut punching me a reminder that nothing is certain?
**He managed the ten movements in an hour after drinking OJ. The nurse was pleased but since then I've felt uneasy. I can feel his little foot which I normally tap and he kicks me back. Now, nada. I've grown used to his routine and its changed. I called and asked if they can monitor me just so I'm not nuts this weekend and she said ok so I'm going in at 2EST. I wish I could say I'm trusting my gut, but I'm not sure I have a gut anymore. Fear has warped it beyond recognition. I'm indulging my paranoia is more like it. But you know what? Better peace of mind and better safe than sorry
*** Thanks for your reassurances, as you predicted, all was well. Ofcourse, as is always the case, one I was strapped on the monitors Sunflower decided to show his dancing skills to the theme of Kung Fu Fighting. I stared helplessly at the OB I swear he wasn't doing that before! The OB said around this stage movements change due to size. Phew. She told me to start kick counts daily and I'm so glad no one made me feel stupid for my fears. Three.More.Weeks.
Maybe you should start going in for NSTs?? Basically it monitors the baby's movements and fluctuating heart rate.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, mine doesn't move all the time either. I just figured he is worn out maybe and sleeping or growing. Actually I thought it was 10 kicks in a day not an hour....lol. I probably would have freaked long ago.
I think you should request an NST just to ease your mind.
((Hugs)) He's probably just resting or could possibly be running out of room to move around. V's resting hr is in the 130s when he kicks, it shoots up to 160-190 so it really takes a lot out of them to move around at this point.
Hang in there and I know it is hard, but try not to worry too much.
he's gonna be ok, if he doesn't pass the kick test you'll go see your doctor and if they are worried they will take him now, he will come out screaming and everything will be as it should.
ReplyDeleteI had so many panicked moments just like that...thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI too had those moments where I was sure something was wrong. My babies didn't move no matter what I did. What helped me was going to my next ultrasound and seeing them move and not feeling it.
ReplyDeleteEvery pg woman goes through that anxiety, but I think it's harder for an IF woman to deal with. We try for so long and have learned to expect the worst through our struggles. It's ok to feel panicky.
Don't just write it off to nerves though. If you feel like you want to get checked, call your dr. Or better yet, call L&D. 99.9% of the time the hospital will tell you to come in. Then get hooked up to the montitors and focus on that beautiful sound of a headrbeat.
Good luck at your appointment, Kate! You're probably on your way over there as I type.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that Sunflower is just having a lazy Spring day. =)
I'm thinking of you today! I know everything will be fine, but I'm happy they're letting you go in. Peace of mind is worth more at this point!!!
ReplyDeleteHope all went well at the NST. It's scary all the way through delivery, and then continues after (though not as bad).
ReplyDeleteI'd sure appreciate some increase-milk-production-and baby weight gain prayers over here!
Ugh, i'm sorry i've been out of the loop lately and for the hellish day and night you've had. I can so so relate. To the fears, to the paranoia, to seeing clues of horror where no one else would notice them like all that new stuff being sold. I just finished a post about how i am realizing that i really won't be able to breath for four more months. I know how you feel. I do. And I am just so excited that you will be with him soon. On the outside. That he'll be with you safe and sound. THREE WEEKS!!! To a normal person that would probably sound short but I'm sure the weeks get longer as you get closer to the end. I'm so glad he perked up. And it does make sense that movement decreases as they have less room. Just keep fighting the good fight. You'll get there mama!!
ReplyDeleteYay great news! Like I said, it's better for both of you to have some peace of mind and less stress. Very glad all is well! You're so close to meeting your little guy, he'll be here soon! :)
ReplyDeleteit's true, the last few weeks they don't move around much at all, a lot of people get freaked out about it but especially us if'ers. you are just weeks aways from seeing your little guy, i can't wait for you to meet him.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to read that everything is all right in the end and Sunflower is fine. And doctors are there to help when you need, don't feel bad for that.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry you went through that! i do, too, sometimes, as i feel ike my little girl doesn't move as much as my little boy. and it freaks me out! but my OB said, she is proabbly lodged in there so good, that she can't move that much. remember also that newborns sleep 18 hours a day!! so that is what your baby in your belly does, too! sometimes they just sleep, and might want to sleep. try not to worry - i know that is easier said than done. you will be waking the baby up to eat in a few weeks! he won't be kicking all the time either when he is out! (i'm talking to you as much as i'm reminding myself!)
ReplyDeleteWhat a crappy, scary thing to go through! And darn right they shouldn't have made you feel silly. Nothing silly about it. Bad on them for not telling you earlier that the kick count rules changed at this stage!
ReplyDeleteSo glad all is well. Almost there! Almost there!
It is definitely better to be safer than sorry. Momo used to do that, especially towards the end of the third trimester so we'd end up going to the hospital where she later put on a song and dance.
ReplyDeleteNot long now, all the best!
*iclw #56