36 weeks. 28 days to go. 4 weeks until my due date. 1 week to full term.
It's hard to grasp how close this all is. This entire pregnancy, time has felt amorphous, as Eve so eloquently put it it: 10 days sounds more like 10 years to me. The impending delivery of the twins is abstract from time, like the way my son understands time. He knows what a day is, what tomorrow is, and yesterday, but beyond that…a week may as well be eight weeks, a month may as well be a year.
I'm getting rounder both in stomach and face and I now officially waddle. I'm psyched about this 37th week as I get to find out if Sunflower weighs 20 pounds and my OB visits become weekly. Why? Because his arrival is just around the corner! And as nervous as I may sometimes feel about my parenting abilities, the physical discomfort helps me grow increasingly eager for him to come on out and meet me!
This week was kind of rough. Thanks, as always, for holding my hand. This weekend, my in-laws are visiting. They're on the smile offensive right now since we stopped contact after their behavior in November. MIL asked Jack the other day please let us know when the baby is born. They're getting nervous. She told Jack I'm not to cook as she plans to come and cook enough for the following days and weeks. She's a splendid cook so I'm not complaining about her offer but am suspicious since in 8 years, through law school and miscarriages she's never offered this before. I know she's trying to be nice so she can have an edge back into our lives. I'm hopeful, but wary since last time we spoke she said when you have contractions let us know and we'll drive to the hospital. This after Jack already told them we'll call them when we want them to visit. Luckily Jack and I are on the same wave length MIL WILL NOT be in the delivery room. Not. Happening. I'm hopeful that since they'll be trying to make nice, this weekend will go well. MIL can be very nice if she's in the mood and regardless of motive, I'll take it. FIL is always difficult to take- but he can't help it, I take it less personally.
This was the weekend I went to my in-laws last year. This Sunday last year I lay in their guest room and felt blood. Monday last year I miscarried. I can't believe its been a year but I'm focusing on what I have, not what I don't have. Tuesday, April 13, the anniversary of the miscarriage I have OB visits, pediatrician visits, and lunch with a friend. My hope is packing the day will minimize the urge to wallow and feel sad. I will certainly not fight the sadness if it hits me because Rain, after all, is only rain; it is not bad weather. So also, pain is only pain, unless we resist it, then it becomes torment. -I Ching.
I hope you all are doing well. Here's to week 37. I hope this week flies by as quickly as it can. Of course having said that. . . sigh!