I was having a perfectly pleasant dream about bottles. Avent versus Dr. Brown. Me and a friend were discussing the benefits of each quite passionately. Then my stomach started hurting and when I awoke the pain remained and my stomach was hard as a rock and I had to take deep breaths to stave off the pain. It went on for 3 minutes. Then it went away. After that I got more painless braxton hicks tightening [I officially love braxton hicks, they are so gentle, why couldn't we labor with braxton hicks gentle tight and release?] on and off. And then- SLAM. The next contraction was again strong enough I couldn't talk through it and the pain? Damn. Ladies, how do you do it? I found myself moaning and just pacing, walking, lying down, trying to do anything to make this pain go away. This one hurt enough to send a call to the doctor. The meanest Step-OB was on call and when I described my symptoms she said its not real labor (Being the bearer of bad news I suppose does not make her mean though) and such false labors are normal at this stage. I was hoping that since I was contracting every five minutes, just that some were those cute bunny rabbit braxton hicks, that maybe it all added up to labor, but no. She said they all have to be that painful and every five minutes.
So- veteran mothers, don't laugh- but- I had this image of me going into natural labor. I imagined myself packing my bags (because they're not fully packed), taking a shower, grabbing a bite to eat, saying a quick prayer, and then heading to the hospital. Frolicking really. This isn't going to happen, is it?
Now the volcano has calmed down, my uterus is soft, baby is kicking like crazy as if asking what the fuck was that? And I'm left wondering: Is my body sadistic? Or does it mean the real thing is imminent? I guess time will tell. In the meantime- is incessant blogging a symptom of labor?