Today after a blessedly uneventful MFM visit, the doc said, see you next week unless you have the baby! One can hope but I don't think he's coming out anytime soon. Though I was having frequent contractions that got me giddy with hope, they've gone down in frequency considerably. I feel like the annoying kid in the back of the car Is it time? Now? Are we there yet? What about now? Um, okay, maybe now?
The thing is, I feel like a whale. Yes in the size department, but more so in the, unable-to-move-well-on-land department. My confidence was much helped today by a lovely sales clerk at the grocery store. Wow, she said with wide eyes, you are huge! I smiled politely. I mean it! Are you overdue? That is one gigantic baby you got in there! Golleee! I just stared at her. Granted, she's taking liberties discussing my largeness because I'm pregnant (I hope!) but you know what? Its hurtful to be called ginormous [even if you are].
Speaking of being huge, that is one thing that makes me sad about this pregnancy ending. I've kind of enjoyed not feeling concerned about my weight. Like most people raised in Western society (or its influence) I have striven for thin my whole life. I have judged myself by the size of my jeans and eaten a slice of cake only to feel horrible afterward vowing to remain on Atkins until I'm 70. Today Jack said to me Pregnancy has made you so much less self-conscious. You seem so much more confident. He's right. It's been nice to not hate my body but instead, pat my roundness and feel proud of my expanding curves. But once Sunflower arrives, this changes. We're going to have a ceremony honoring his arrival in July and then in December my cousin is getting married. The pressure to lose weight for these events and get the 'wow you just had a baby? Can't tell!' will be high and I'm already not looking forward to that. Oh well.
Also, thanks for your insight into the last post about the future of this blog. A post on that is forthcoming- that is, unless this baby makes his way out before then! pleasepleaseplease!