Friday, April 30, 2010

39 Weeks- 7 more days

7 more day though quite frankly I'm convinced he's going to stay in here until he's 32. My amniotic fluids were back to normal. Discharge increased but its not amniotic. My cervix remains barely 2cm dilated. I'm 50% effaced. He's sunny side up so I'm at risk for back labor. In a nutshell: My body is practicing like hell but labor doesn't seem close. At all.

I'm emotional lately most likely because I'm sleep deprived getting two hours of sleep these days due to cramps and contractions. I want to laugh at the lack of progress and joke that little guy is just messing with me. I guess I'm too tired to laugh and it doesn't help that none of these pains did anything to further dilate me. I feel guilty for feeling frustrated. I'm full term what more do I want? I'll tell you: him. Until he's here, nothing is certain. He moves less these days. He passes his kick count test daily though it takes longer each evening to get the 10 kicks. This is normal, I know. But. There are enough scary stories on the web and in my own extended family for me to feel its a done deal simply being "term".

I'm in love. Hook line and sinker. This is the most intense love I've ever felt and the thought of losing him makes me want to die. That's why I'm impatient. That's why despite full days, the days crawl. I can deal with the waddling, the headaches, the fatigue, and this troubling toothache that is creeping up. But I need someone to promise me nothing will go wrong. While the odds are in my favor, they are only odds until he's here. I know its just a matter of time- today the nurse taking my vitals said I understand how it feels like forever, these last few days, I felt that way too when I was in your shoes and now my children are 30 and 33. Yep- time flies. It only feels like we live in the moment forever. I know this time next week I will most likely have him in my arms. Until then, I wait.

8 comments:

  1. The end of pregnancy is HARD - totally normal to be frustrated - the aches and pains are killer. Try to get as much rest as possible - because once he is here, you will get NONE!!! And that makes the physical recovery really, really hard.

    It is all worth it and then some - I am looking at my babies now - just tandem fed them - now pumping - and it is the most intense love I have ever felt. But it is still okay to complain about how hard the end of pregnancy is!!! Hang in there!

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  2. I know the feeling. Hang tight!

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  3. Not much longer girl!! The doctors are taking great care of you, the only plus side of being high risk ;).

    I def. understand the frustration in wanting to meet your LO!!

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  4. i promise you, nothing will go wrong. soon you will be holding your little sunflower in your arms.

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  5. You should write him an inviction notice!!

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  6. Oooh. You don't want a sunny-side up labor. Mine still can't decide which lie he wants, but is sometimes posterior (sunny-side-up)...and my doula told me to spend time on my hands and knees for 20 minutes a day, three times a day...plus there are other exercises/positions that can help babies turn before starting labor...

    http://www.spinningbabies.com/

    Don't mean to spout assvice or anything....but sunny side up (posterior position) can also cause all these long protracted prelabor symptoms too because their heads don't press right on the cervix--which is what increases the strength and regularity of contractions.

    Worth a try!

    (I'm paranoid about back labor, so this has become an interest of mine....)

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  7. I just wanted to say that I totally understand your impatience and anxiety about not having your baby in your arms yet. I will worry about stillbirth until the moment my baby is born and then I will worry about SIDS... I suppose I'll never stop worrying. But it's true, you can't be sure until you have your baby alive in your arms and that is a scary, scary thought. Working through that worry has been a constant battle for me during my pregnancy. I hope your last week goes by without a hitch and you have your baby in your arms before you know it.

    Good luck!

    Kait @ esperanzasays.wordpress.com

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