Thank you so much for holding my hand during my mini-meltdown yesterday. I guess yesterday there was just one too many straws on this camel's back but I'm better now. I had my 30 week check up (Wow! 30 weeks!) and met with the final OB in the practice. He was super nice. I wish it was a given that doctors had good bedside manner and I didn't have to be this thrilled to get what should be the care I'm entitled to but it is what it is. He told me my one-hour was too high to warrant a re-test and he was worried I could pass the three-hour and be a false-negative. Because of my insulin-resistance issues I'm already at high risk and the one hour confirmed something is wonky. He said if my numbers continue to be this low then they'll reduce the times I prick myself and relax some of my eating restrictions.
Today was a much better day GD-wise. I reduced my portions considerably. I had a veggie sandwich for lunch but I ate half of it for lunch with vitamin water and then had the other half as my snack two hours later with a grapefruit. This made it much more manageable and I've made a promise to myself to trust my instincts. If I am too full I'm not going to push it. I've been trying to do research on the eating sugar issue but am turning up nothing, maybe somebody reading has an answer? The dietitian said I could absolutely not have sugar ever and to take Splenda instead. But- the GD booklet I have just lists one tablespoon of sugar as 1 carb and doesn't say don't touch sugar. I had 1/4 teaspoon of sugar in my tea with breakfast and my reading was 83. The vitamin water I drank had 2 servings of carbs which was sugar but my reading after lunch was 80. Sugar is not skyrocketing my numbers so why can't I just have it and incorporate it in my carb counting? Is there something I missed? I called the dietitian to ask but she never returned my calls.
Thank you for advice on pricking myself too. Today was much better. I made sure to wash my hands in warm water, I then massaged around the area I would prick to get blood circulating and after pricking I squeezed a little. This helped get enough blood out and I didn't have to spend twenty minutes stabbing all my fingers.
Jack and I were eating dinner and I told him- I can't believe it: We have nine more weekends without him at most! Then he will change our lives forever! But Jack pointed out, our lives have already changed. Our conversations revolve around him. Anytime he squirms or moves my hands move over my belly. I have the equivalent of a medical clinic's worth of medicine supplies for him. I have altered what I eat for him. I altered how I sleep for him. In some ways, in a real way, he's already here and my life has already changed because of him. Remembering who this is for helps make it all worthwhile. (Though- I still reserve the right for an occasional mini-meltdown!)