27 weeks. According to baby-gaga at this point in a healthy pregnancy a premature child (with intensive care) could easily win on the show: “Survivor: The Early Years.” Last night I had a nightmare that I had my baby and kept forgetting to feed him. He also never pooped and I only noticed a week into his birth! I woke up so happy because I was having a fear about being a mom dream! That means my subconscious is starting to believe this is going to happen [albiet being a bit of a spazz] and that makes me happy to no end.
I'm finally hitting my stride. Finally feeling peace settle over me. Despite the gloomy weather I've managed to be depression-free for a while. A friend recommended a daily dose of Cod Liver oil as both a good source of Omega 3 but also to alleviate depression. I'm not sure if that's the reason I feel better lately but I'm grateful for my emotional betterment since as I said in the last post, the physical discomfort is coming at me full steam.
I'm calling the State Bar today to go inactive. I doubt I'll be practicing law this year and its cheaper to be inactive. I find it fitting to go inactive since I really am inactive in the truest sense of the word. Lately with physical discomfort ramping up I find myself doing a lot of reading, writing and television viewing. I envisioned my time off work and pre-baby to be filled with organizing, packing and stacking and while I have done some of that, I mostly find myself inactive. After having spent the majority of my life go-go-go, it feels weird to be so out of commission. I like to tell myself that despite this seeming inactivity, I am baking a child so at all times I am engaged in some sort of activity.
After sunflower gets here, I plan to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) for at least the first few years of Sunflower's life. Jack is fine with this though he worries I'll get bored. My family is disappointed I'm giving up on my legal career after all the investment. As you know I have a book that's currently being shopped but even if it sells, debut authors shouldn't quit their day jobs as book advances are down lately. These things make me feel guilty and there are days I miss earning my own paycheck and wearing dress up clothes but I feel I'm making the best choice for me. I'm considering Sunny my SAHM role model: If its what you want to do and it makes you happy, then don't let comparing yourself to others get you down.