Thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I felt relieved to admit it. It helped to hear from others that I could likely not have done anything to prevent a doomed pregnancy. Its one thing telling yourself because when I said it to myself it felt like I was justifying what I did, but your comments help me let go of it just a little bit more.
I woke up this morning feeling like a bus hit me in my sleep. I feel nauseous, like first trimester nausea but worse since my first trimester nausea wasn't that bad. I'm also getting migraines and feel generally icky.
Then there's sleep. Sleeping used to be my friend. All my life I either slept on my back or my stomach. Its hard to get used to sleeping on the sides as is but add to this the fact that I use lovenox on my sides and resting on my bruises hurts. Lying down also gives me acid reflux and indigestion. I didn't eat much yesterday but I still woke up at 7am and still felt like I hadn't digested anything. In attempt to avoid side sleeping and the indigestion issues I propped up a ton of pillows last night and tried to sleep semi reclined, but it was difficult to get deep sleep like this and my back began aching.
And speaking of back- It's entirely my fault that I gained over 25 pounds as of now, most of it being pizza and cookie weight (thought quitting Metformin hasn't helped matters). I thought because pregnant bellies grow gradually your body would not hurt so much carrying it around, but lately that belly is hurting my lower back quite a bit which is frightening since I still have a long ways to go.
And then, in the one area I can't complain, little dude is getting bigger and though he's still a gentle giant for the most part, once in a while, particularly in the morning he gives me a nice hard POW to the gut. This feels surreal. Is that you kiddo? The one that felt like a butterfly trying to get out just a few weeks ago? Now you're getting ready to play for the World Cup in there? When he kicks me to move me from a position he does not like (sleeping on my side) I ofcourse immediately move but its just funny, I feel like I'm part of the odd couple, and the grumpy one is inside of me. I also wonder, he already dictates my life now, my how things will change once he arrives? I look forward to finding out.
I know this post is a series of complaints about aches and pains but I'm sure it goes without saying I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I used to feel bad complaining but the fact is, these things are annoying. I'm blessed to be here, but just like if your back hurts when you're not pregnant, it can hurt when you are and just like insomnia sucks non-preggo it sucks preggo too, but never for a minute do these things make me wish away the underlying source of these aches and pains.