Monday, February 22, 2010

Returning the Doppler....?

When I first rented my doppler at 9 weeks I bought a one month package and planned to keep it until the end of the first trimester thinking I'd stop being so scared once I passed week 12.

Right.

From weeks 9-19 it was my life preserver and quite frankly, I don't know know how I would have lived without it. Week 20-28 while I could feel definite movement, there were days I didn't and on those days that doppler kept me from waddling as fast as I could to the ER. [and as an aside, insurance companies should consider giving dopplers to recurrent miscarriers because they would save a pretty penny from frantic doctor and ER visits from such persons!] Now, thankfully, he moves pretty regularly inside me and when he's quiet I can often nudge him gently and he'll poke back and let me know he's there. We still listen to him almost nightly, but more so because its our security blanket, and less so because we're terrified out of our minds.

I recently learned that my maternal grandmother lost four children. One stillborn, two within the first two weeks of life and one who was two years old. She also suffered at least three miscarriages that my mom is aware of. Back in the day it was hard to know if it was a truly a miscarriage unless you were quite far along. She still managed to have five daughters, but I wonder sometimes how scared she must have been each time she got pregnant. No ultrasounds, no dopplers, nothing to reassure you. I think my months of waiting are bad, I cannot imagine how she must have felt. I shudder to think about not having had my doppler as a source of comfort during my darkest days of doubt.

The monthly rental ends at the end of the week. Jack thinks its time to return it. Part of me agrees but the other part is scared because its my blankie and if I give it away what will happen? Will I jinx myself somehow? I do have gestational diabetes now, so does that up my risk of losing him in any way? I'm reassuring myself that if he goes silent again I can always go to babysrus and buy the $25 dopplers that you can definitely use at this stage.

Incase you are in the market for a doppler, I was very pleased with www.babybeat.com. I bought the cheapest model and it worked fantastic. The customer service was also marvelous and the package arrived right on time. I'm not getting paid to say any of this but wanted to share my good experience for anyone else in the market and to let you know that at least for me, it was incredibly reassuring to know I had it handy if I felt afraid.

13 comments:

  1. My doppler absolutely saved me from going completely insane during my last pregnancy. I bought one from an online medical supply warehouse and it was just the best thing ever for reassurance! I don't think you'll be jinxing anything by not having it, but I certainly loved listening to the heartbeat so maybe one of those babies'r'us ones might be a good investment!

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  2. I have read so many people using these dopplers at home. I think you should do what you feel is best. Keep it if it will allow you a piece of mind. Happy ICLW.

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  3. I am having some painful contractions right now - 5 am - and the doppler is saving my sanity. Do whatever you need to do to stay sane.

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  4. It's like a blanky. A blanky is reassuring. Kids let go of the blanky when they're confident without it. Keep it until you can let go.
    Happy ICLW !!

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  5. I simply could not have survived without my doppler (okay, maybe that's a little dramatic)...but it gave me such comfort, and this from someone who hasn't suffered a loss. I cannot imagine the peace it would give one who had....

    I bought mine on e-bay. I keep thinking about selling it, but then, like yesterday, I pull it out and use it again and think I won't get rid of it until this baby is born. :-)

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  6. I'm very happy with their basic model, too. I got mine at 11 weeks, and can't part with it yet, even though I use it about once a week.

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  7. Whatever give you peace of mind is worth it!!
    Blessings

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  8. Do what makes you happy! If ir gives you piece of mind and cuts down on your stress level its good for the baby too. GL-

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  9. I love my doppler. I still haven't returned it, at 32 weeks. I hardly ever use it, but sometimes I worry -- "Am I feeling both babies, or just one?" Doppler time! We'll keep it until I deliver, I imagine. DH isn't ready to let it go either. :)

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  10. Oh I was so happy w/ my doppler! I even have a bunch of gel left over, thinking I'd be squirting that stuff on thick all the time. Lol. I say, send it back when you're ready!! Sorry about your grandma's losses. I can imagine how hard and scary it must've been too. happy ICLW!

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  11. I just ordered one off of E-Bay and cannot wait to see how well it works. After hearing so many other bloggers rave about their doppler I'm really excited to get one. Personally, I think $20 a month is pretty cheap for the comfort it brings, so if you're not ready, keep it!

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  12. Which one did you get? I debated getting one during the pregnancy, and now, after the loss, I debate it even more. They say the best time to start using one is around 10 weeks, and I technically lost the baby around 10w3d so I might never have heard a thing, or maybe I would have heard something and then a few days later nothing and would have known something sooner...but still...I don't know. But I'm still interested to know which one you got so if I ever need one...

    And I think it's safe to let it go now. You're so far along! And I really, truly believe this is the one for you. The baby will be here safe and sound before you know it. :)

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  13. why return it if it makes you feel better? it doesn't seem like there's any harm in keeping it.

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