Since telling SIL the news of my pregnancy, we haven't heard from her. She lived five miles from my parent's home in Orlando but claimed to be too busy to meet up the rest of the week we were in town back in December. Jack found it odd but shrugged it off. SIL called Jack today. Is this a good time, I need to talk to you. Jack said sure, and she began bawling about how hurt and angry she is we didn't tell her in a special way. She demanded to know why my family knew before her. Why we waited so long to tell. Jack calmly explained to her that I was free to tell my family whenever I wanted, not to mention the fact that we were staying with my family and I was obviously pregnant. She countered that we could have called her before coming to Orlando and told her the news. Jack told her once again that someone had to find out first, and if it happened to be my family, it was nothing to get upset about.
When we told her about my first pregnancy in a 'special' way her response was simply, oh. She did not smile once. Instead, she launched into a lecture about not having a baby shower since it can jinx your pregnancy. I told her that was silly and had a miscarriage the next day. I know there is no correlation but because of her taunting words I'm not having a baby shower. Its not her fault necessarily that I've made this choice, but I resent her for putting this kernel in my ear that now correlates baby showers with loss.
To be fair to her, she doesn't know I'm high-risk. She doesn't know how vulnerable we feel. But her calling and bawling her eyes out at not being made to felt special. . . after the shit day that I had wondering if I'm having preterm labor, after the fear-filled first and second trimester, to hear someone trying to make my pregnancy about them. . . it disturbs me. I appreciate my husband's patience with her. Had she said those things to me. . . I don't know what I would have done.