This is a weird question but I'm curious, does everyone get burned by people they thought were friends? To be fair I have a handful of good people in my life who care for me and who I feel I can trust. But it seems that friendships over the past few recent years have really had the power to hurt.
A friend we thought we were close to had a huge birthday bash for their son. We kept getting texts from other mutual friends at the party wondering what other plans we had that we couldn't attend. We weren't invited. It was strange since I talk to R regularly, and Jack and her husband work together, play football together, and get lunch once a week. It was strange enough that I had to ask her what happened. She said we didn't attend her son's birthday last year because Jack wanted to play football instead, and that we didn't have kids. I was pregnant with Speck last year and her party was for 10am. I had morning sickness with him and getting up at 8am to attend a 10am party on a Saturday morning would have triggered a bad day for me. She assumed we chose not to go for a football game and decided to ban us this year. And- I know I'm pregnant now but it still stings to be told I was not invited somewhere because we don't have kids. Those words still have the power to burn, and I'm surprised she said this since she knows about my losses and struggles.
A few weeks ago I wrote about a former friend who e-mailed to apologize for cutting off all ties with no explanation nearly three years ago. You all gave me great advice with lots of different perspectives but most of you felt no reply was necessary. I saw her last night at a wedding. I figured if I ran into her I'd say hi but during the wedding our paths didn't cross. At the end of the wedding Jack and I lingered with some friends outside when Z came to leave. She came up to me and and hugged me and kissed my cheek. We smiled and idle talked for a few minutes before she left. Because of what y'all said, and my mom and Jack, I am choosing not to pursue the issue- but it left me so sad. It was like seeing an ex boyfriend you thought was the one. But the quote Lilly shared with me by Maya Angelou when people show you who they are, believe them- the first time, sticks with me and despite missing her, I feel I must keep my distance. It's just such a strange thing to still miss a friend despite the span of three years.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who has this sort of thing happen. If facebook is any indication the rest of the world is singing kumbaya. Jack says this is not true. That this is common- it happens- that in this world you're lucky to have a handful of friends over the course of a lifetime that you can truly lean on.
Is this true for you? Because honestly, I'm getting tired of the games and the drama. I appreciate the handful of friends who I can rely on, but it seems sometimes its just not worth it to keep trying to expand your social circle because your odds of getting burned are high.