Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rantings of a nut**

I wasn't going to blog about this because I feel so dumb. Plus, I don't want to be one of those blogs that just kind of waxes on about the same exact thing over and over again in finitum. But then I thought, this is my space to let myself say what I'm feeling so I will. If you are tired of my endless paranoia please skip this post.

I think little guy might have stomped on my cervix because I was just sitting there watching Public Enemies and felt a weird feeling on my cervix from inside the womb. I know babies River Dance on their mother's cervix so I didn't freak. Then half an hour later I felt a weird pain high up in my vagina where the cervix is. It lasted 30-60 seconds and then it went away. It got me a bit more paranoid but again- y'all have told me this is normal, so I didn't freak. Then I went to use the bathroom and when I wiped a red little mucus strand type thing came out and then some slight discharge clear and whitish. The red ball of mucus was very small, the size of a grain of rice, but when it comes to my vagina, my least favorite color is red no matter how big or small.

Little guy is giving me occassional taps. His heartbeat is going strong. I have no more discharge, nor do I have any other signs that anything is amiss. So I'm telling myself that all is well and that this mucus thing might be leftover from the suppository I took for BV (which btw- a lab test confirmed I DID NOT have and was advised to stop taking the suppository three days into treatment?) But I'm nervous because well, I don't like red anywhere near or around that area.

I'm feeling stupid. I don't want to call the doctor tomorrow to have the same nurse call once again to hear this paranoid person saying she's scared. I'm feeling eye rolls if I walk in and they examine me and tell me all is well. I keep asking Jack, should I call tomorrow. He says I should just to give me peace of mind. So I guess I will, but I'm feeling like the boy who cried wolf. Except I'm not doing this for attention. I'm not doing this on purpose. I'm just a nut.

**Thank you for reassuring me its okay. I sometimes forget I'm allowed to call and not feel bad about it. The nurse said to monitor it and if it happens again to call. From the sound of it she thinks its just leftover suppository that may have irritated my cervix. I feel better that I said something though. I guess despite how far into this pregnancy I am I'll be resorting to the phrase I used to get me through the first: So far so good.


  1. You are NOT a nut! You're just a worried Mom, and one who has past history that absolutely entitles her to more worry than average.

    Honestly, doctors and nurses are there for this type of stuff, it happens every day, you're not the only one, and if they don't like it...too bad, they can stick it. Lots of first time moms make frequent calls about this or that,and better to call and reassure yourself than sit around and worry.

    I'm with your DH on this. Call in the am. It will make ME feel better if you do. ;)

  2. Totally call the doctor - not paranoia at all - red and stringy definitely warrants a call.

    I am going to call my doc today too - more menstrual like cramping - that is what they are there for!

  3. don't forget that your doctor works for you and not the other way around, we pay them to make sure that everything is ok so if you are worried about something then please call them. it's better for you to call or go in and find out that it's nothing than to not call and end up with some sort of problem. i swear the phone nurses at my doctor's office know me by the sound of my voice, i don't even have to tell them my name anymore whe n i leave a message! i'm sure they're used to it, there are plenty of women who are totally freaked out and paranoid when they are pregnant, especially us first timers, double especially first timers who have been through everything that we have been through, we know all to well what can go wrong.

  4. I'm glad that you are going to call the doctor. That's what they are there for. Who cares if they roll their eyes or what they think, what matters most is you and your little one.

  5. Remember - they work for you. You have hired them to help you bring this healthy baby into the world. They can think what they want - you are in charge. If it will help you relax and reduce your stress - call.


  6. You are not doing it for attention, you are doing it for your own sanity! I appreciate that my doctor has the attitude of "better be safe the sorry"! He figures that if his paitents are willing to pay a co pay to come see him to make sure everything is ok, then he's willing to see them (I guess that logic gets thrown out the window when TriCare paitnets show up!)

  7. You are SO not a nut. It is perfectly rational for you to be a little more in tune with your body and nervous about difference than the average not high risk pregnant gal.

  8. Glad to hear they came up with a good explanation. For the future (and I have to remind myself this too) CALL CALL CALL. We put ourselves through enough stress in this experience, we should refuse to allow ourselves to get stressed over whether we're being a squeaky wheel or paranoid or what have you. We don't need that. We just need reassurance. And that's perfectly normal. In addition to which, I'm pretty sure the doctors are used to it.

  9. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you called! You are not a nut. Not one bit! CALL whenever you are worried.

    Bobby was quite the cervix dancer and it hurt like hell sometimes.

    Call. When in doubt, call. When you need some extra assurance, call. That is what they are there for.

  10. I had one night with pretty severe ouchiness up at my cervix/upper vagina. Thankfully, it never came back and I didn't have bleeding with it.
    I'd guess that if you're not contracting/tightening, and it doesn't recur, it's just your poor cervix being irritated.
    But you're not any more nuts than me!

  11. That is what the doctors get paid for... to care for you! Don't feel guilty, please. Think of it this way. There are many people who NEVER call the doctor during their pregnancy, it's entirely uneventful. Some of us have to balance those people out, right?!

  12. Very glad you called the doctor. I don't think that it is paranoid to give them the heads up. I'd rather call and say, "hey FYI this is what happened today..." rather than hear something in the future from them saying "Why didn't you call us?!?" Besides, in 16 more weeks, you'll never bother them again. :-)