Despite becoming more hopeful these past few weeks, I had trouble sleeping last night. Part of me wondered if now that I let my guard down, would the fears become real? It would just figure me getting all hopeful would jinx everything. Thankfully so far my theory has been disproved. I'm pleased to report all is ho-hum in the womb area. The tech did a few 3D shots which honestly kinda freaked me out! Cervix is long and closed, amniotic fluid is as it should be and my little sunflower weighed in at 1 pound 10 ounces and is measuring 25w2d, three days ahead of schedule. He's head down so the cervix hits I get are apparently head bumps. When we saw him he was sucking his thumb and giving me soccer kicks. She said he has long legs so I might get a long baby in May. All in all he measured in the 47% percentile which is average so I can't complain. The doppler and these visits are what keep me sane.
Dr. MFM is awesome and after having rotated with so many subpar doctors it was just nice to talk to him. At my OB visit I brought Dr. M my Nordic Cod Liver Oil to ask if I could take it and instead of answering my question, she wrote me a prescription for DHA supplements which I didn't want. Dr. MFM checked it and said it was fine to take. I discussed all my questions that Dr. M was too hurried to answer with Dr. MFM and he rocks. If an OB one day stumbles upon this site I hope they can learn to not condescend to their patients and to respect that they may also know what they're talking about. Though you know more than me, I will listen to you a lot better if you respect me as a person while we talk.
Anyhoo! We discussed my 28 week gestational diabetes test and he said some people carb it up a few days before the test and then eat no carbs the day before the test and pass it. Which leaves me confused. With a PCOS history and GD in my family, I likely will have GD but should I try to beat the test? If I have it, don't I want to treat it, not do a temporary fix before a test only to have my levels rise up again? I'm assuming there is some harm in having GD hence the testing.
Driving home, Jack and I reflected how one year ago we were still TTC. One year ago I had not known Speck. My next OB visit is February 20, the day I found out I was pregnant. I will become full term April 13, the day I lost Speck. He turned to me and said when Speck died, something in me left with him. I feel like there is a hole that will never be filled but I know when I see our son I will see what Speck and Bug might have been. I felt tears form in my own eyes. I am grateful for this pregnancy and I love this little boy but just like Jack there remains a crater somewhere within. I love Speck and Bug. Loving Sunflower does not negate the occassional heavy heart I feel over what could have been.
I'm SO glad that sunflower is looking good! It must be a relief, if as Jack said, it's also bittersweet as you ponder what might have been.
ReplyDeleteDH was adament that I not "game the system" when it comes to my GD test, which is today actually. This certainly convinced me not to: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gestational-diabetes/DS00316/DSECTION=complications
So glad all looks good!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't try to cheat the test, because if I were to have GDM, I'd want to know and work on controlling it with my diet. The only thing they told me to do was to not have a bunch of carbs before coming in to do it. So I had a scrambled egg with cheese in it and didn't have my usual glass of OJ, just water. I passed with flying colours, despite the PCO.
I somehow, though always sad that I've lost two babies, manage to not think about them much, and just focus on the one inside me who is squirming away all the time. The nurse who did my U/S today even commented on how much she was moving. Love the reassurance that I constantly get that all is well.
that is weird about the gd thing, i would think if you have it you'd want to treat it because having gd means you have diabetes!! it may go away after the baby's born but it's still diabetes and it should be treated. my doctor just told me to watch my sugar intake the day of and before the test. i failed the one hour and had to do the three hour which i passed, but it sucked sitting in the lab for three hours.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I will def not try to cheat the test I think. The Doc did say "you shouldnt do it but..." and so it left me confused.
ReplyDeleteKate, I'm glad to hear that your ultrasound went well. I would say I don't think about my losses constantly. It used to be hourly, then daily, and now its every once in a while... I never ever thought I would be able to heal some of the wounds but having this pregnancy progressing healthy helps a great deal.
So glad that your ultrasound looked fabulous and sunflower is doing great. Hoping that as each day goes by some of your fears fade and are replaced with joy and hope. I think that keeping speck and bug in your heart is a wonderful thing. They will always be special, but separate from sunflower. And I'm shouting "Super Yay!" for a long closed cervix and plenty of fluid and a long healthy little boy squirming and kicking and sucking his thumb. How wonderful is that?
ReplyDeleteGlad everything looks good. I can't believe people would want to try to game the test...?! That sounds like trying to game an nt scan or a mamogram or something. it's not about 'passing' it's about diagnosis. weird.
ReplyDeleteYay that the baby looks great!
ReplyDeleteI still feel the loss of our little ones - and the loss of the genetic connection at times - I think it is only natural to feel that way. ((HUGS))
Thanks so much everyone :)
ReplyDeleteAstrid, lol, my instinct was "cool a way to pass the test" but this isn't a law school exam! It's a test that is designed to help prevent issues should I have GD! So strange! He's a good doc otherwise but this advice struck me as odd though he did backtrack and say not to later on.
I am going to take them up on the st disability at my next appt in two weeks - I will be almost 33 weeks - I cannot believe it! No more trips for me - I have been grounded from air flight for a few weeks now. I did love Atlanta though - and let me know if you are ever in Pittsburgh!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that your MFM is awesome! You deserve a stellar doc after all you've been through.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with the others: Do NOT try to cheat that test (but I know you already know this)!
I think it's kind of poetic (in a strange way) that the day you become full term is also they day you lost Speck (bear with me here). It's almost as if Speck is sending you a message of hope. He's saying, "Mom, I know you're going to miss me extra hard on this day, so I wanted to insulate your heart by assuring you that Sunflower will soon be here to dry your tears."
I teared up at the end. So sweet...
ReplyDeleteI think the concern is that some people may show a false positive on the test (although I think it's rare)
ReplyDeleteSay you generally avoid sugar, for the test you have to ingest a sweet syrupy drink so they can test your blood sugar to see how it's handling the sugar. Some people may show a HUGE spike in their blood sugar, simply because their body isn't used to that amount of sugar in one sitting.
So I think your doc was just referring to some people that try to 'beat the test'.
I think that if you have a moderate amount of sugar in your diet, the test is generally accurate. It would be difficult and silly to try to "fool" a test.
Good luck - I'm sure everything will be fine!
m
(www.tobeamagain dot com)