Saturday, May 22, 2010

Two things they never told me

Three days. It's been three days since the baby blues have left the building. Thank you GOD. It truly feels like I was living in a fog and its finally dissipated. There are some things they never told me about in the books I had read, like 80% of women experience the baby blues. And that just because you struggled with IF and loss doesn't mean you're spared. I'm grateful for you all, and dear friends who helped me not beat myself up for the ugly thoughts that passed through my head. Letting myself feel the feelings helped them pass through me quickly.

Also, despite reading tons of articles, and books on breastfeeding, none of them told me how difficult it can be. I just finished a book that literally said there are no downsides to breastfeeding. And yet there ARE downsides, there are hormonal reactions that can happen, the act of feeding is exhausting and the constant requirement that one be available at the boob can be draining on a woman. I wonder if more women give up on breastfeeding because no one talks about this stuff. Had I known I could have prepared for it, instead I cried constantly and felt like a bad selfish mother. Little guy is still 100% breastfed but honestly I'm not sure how long I will continue. Formula is not acid and each day its siren call to me grows stronger- but you know, seeing his little face, it gives me the strength to try to hang on for one more day [I call it his Zoolander pose][Katery, recognize the outfit?? :)]:

16 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness! First off - delighted to hear how much better you sound. And yeah - formula is not poison, and what keeps mama happy is going to be what's best for baby in the end.

    (Secondly - OMG, what an incredibly adorable baby he is!!!)

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  2. GLad to hear you are feeling better!!

    I agree, breastfeeding is exhausting and very stressful, especially when things don't go right. I appreciated that article you posted. It is so important that a mother look after her own health as well as her newborn or what good is she doing?

    Such a cute baby K!! His eyes are so beautiful.

    So far I am able to do breastmilk and formula. I try to look at this way: we are getting the best of both worlds.

    keep us updated ;)

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  3. How pensive! Glad you're feeling better now. BF as long as you can deal with it, then move on or add in formula. Not everyone has to be as BF nazi as I am in the hopes that Kara'll avoid eczema and asthma later on, given the bad bad family history.

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  4. He is so lovely.
    I'm glad that you're feeling better, and at the end of the day the best decision regarding feeding is whatever works best for you as a family.

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  5. So glad you are feeling better - yes, the "baby blues" strike so many women - you are not alone. Formula is not poison - I understand your personal dilemma. For me, I just pretend it is not an option - I am not looking forward to pumping at work for the next 9 months...oh god, just saying it makes me cringe...but I just take it one day, one pump, one feeding at a time.

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  6. I am so bookmarking this post, to refreshen the info later on. Thanks for sharing. ;-)

    You sound better. And your little one is absolutely gorgeous! And indeed, this is such a Zoolander pose ;-)))
    Don't worry about what people say, do whatever works best for you. As that midwife told me, happy mother means happy baby, and formula is certainly not all that bad as some may make it.

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  7. I'm so glad you are feeling better!
    He is so adorable!!!

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  8. I'm so so SO happy that the blues went bye-bye. Keep enjoying your little man (and taking pictures of him so we can enjoy him too!) =)

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  9. such a precious boy!
    i'm so glad your blues have lifted...i've not experienced them to the intensity you describe, but i do have my ups and downs...thankfully, we both realize this is "normal"...not fun, but nothing too far out of the "ordinary" considering all that our bodies are going through.

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  10. I just went to my breastfeeding basics class and I was so annoyed by the woman's attitude. She basically ignored everyone's concerns. I wanted to shout at her, "If breastfeeding were as easy and wonderful and you're saying it, this class wouldn't exist, your job wouldn't exist and the lactation center you keep talking about wouldn't exist! So why are you pretending like people don't have really hard times with this ALL THE TIME!!!!" I think you're experiencing what MOST people experience. I hope you continue to feel better emotionally and that you can make the right decision for you without feeling guilty about it. Good luck!

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  11. Yay for the blues gone!!! And yes, BFing is hard - I had to give it up and pump... I consulted La Leche, BF experts, my Dr, and unfortunately it just wasn't working for me. If I ever have another baby I will start out exclusively Bfing instead of supplementing. I had told myself that if it didn't work I wouldn't feel guilty, and guess what? I felt guilty. It's hard not to feel that way no matter what. But you are right, formula is not acid and it will give your baby the nutrients he needs to grow. Formula is expensive though - my recommendation to you is to contact all of the formula companies you can think of to request samples, ask your pediatrician for samples, and figure out what works for little Sunflower.

    He's absolutely precious!! My Riley does "the zoolander" too: http://highheelhappy.blogspot.com/2010/05/wordless-wednesday.html

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  12. SO GLAD you're doing better! It's crazy how much this kind of stuff gets pushed to the side and not talked about, when it's really the most important type of thing to know!

    and - wow, wow, wow your little guy is too adorable for words!! I love his little Zoolander pose!!!

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  13. he is so handsome! It's wonderful that you are feeling better, I hope you continue to be that way :)

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  14. Wow he's a cutie and super alert! :) I have heard about the baby blues from my friends and the trials of trying to BF. I feel like the more you hear about it pre-baby the more "prepared" you'll be if it happens to you!

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  15. Catching up here. He is absolutely stunning and that is the cutest pose in the world. I'm so glad the fog is lifting for you and giving you some more opportunity to just enjoy his fabulous smooshy babiness.

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