Thank you so much for your advice in the last post. [And Murgdan- your educated opinion is never assvice!] I feel better. I was raised to be a"good girl" which even at this age makes disagreeing uncomfortable. But- even if my choice annoys them, they can't say well we won't deliver you EVER. [right?]. I'm trying to alleviate my anxiety by reminding myself theres no induction police. I've loved my OB but she's disappointing me at the end.
My logic to wait a few more days is (1) An induction is serious and guarantees pitocin and the whole cascade of medical interventions which (2) boost the odds of a C-section. (3) Yes I have a GD baby but he's not going to gain a pound between Tuesday and Friday but (4) waiting a few more days until Friday could possibly progress me further, maybe not at all, but it could.
She kept saying 'Think of the baby first. I know you don't want a C-section but his health is paramount' which frustrates me because duh, but a C-section isn't the best option for him either. We don't get our skin on skin contact. Nursing is delayed. There's a lot that sucks for him too. Besides, he's being monitored weekly by MFM, they check everything and he's (thank God) scoring excellent. Besides we're talking about four days. And if we're going with convenience why should I accommodate her on-call schedule? Friday means Jack can catch up on his work, my family can drive up instead of taking pricey last minute flights and renting cars to get to the hospital. Hell, if we're going to do this for convenience why not my convenience then? Monday is quite inconvenient for me and my family. (not that this is why I want to wait until Friday).
Then because they said go in Monday, a part of me gets afraid that what if I don't listen and something God Forbid, bad happens. . . but I'm trying to push this out of my mind. Had my OB been on call Friday that would've been the scheduled induction date. This is not a medically necessitated induction on Tuesday. I'm trying to control my frustration. Most first timers go past their due date and here I am getting frustrated at my body for not going into labor already when its probably behaving perfectly normal.
I haven't prayed as much as I would like in the past few months. I feel guilty that now I am praying. I am begging for natural labor. I hope I will be heard and answered. If you remember, toss a prayer in for me and Sunflower. Much appreciated.
When I talked to my old OB about not being induced and waiting for labor to begin naturally, I was told to simply expect the 'but it's for the health of your baby'....and that plus my want to say yes to anything was the hardest conversation EVER, but it was also the reason I left, because I already know I can't say no to anything. I knew how it would finish...Then for at least a month after all I could think about was 'OMG I'm killing my baby by leaving behind the super high tech OB office and trusting that my body will do this in the right time'...(and yes, obviously my midwives and I agreed that if it ever became safer for my baby on the outside we would do what we had to do). But I sooooo doubted myself for a few weeks.
ReplyDeleteI talked to a lot of people, and 'experts' before making my decision, and truly, I was straight up told that the reason I would be induced at 40 weeks had nothing to do with health and everything to do with liability. OBs are afraid of getting sued. The end.
Will I be terrified every day after 40 weeks if I go over? Yeah, a little. But they are also going along with my request for at least a weekly NST.
Your feelings are normal...but so is your baby. You've kept your GD under control and they are testing you and the baby like crazy to be sure all is well in his cozy little home! If there were a true problem you wouldn't have a choice in this, believe me.
...here's to hoping for massive cervical dilation between now and Friday!
(for both of us).
Darn tootin'! It's your birth experience not theirs! And it makes me mad that she pulled out the "what's best for baby" bs to guilt you into doing what she wants. It drives me nuts that dr's do that. My OB better not even begin to try and push me, or she'll find me to be a very difficult patient. They seem to forget that women have been doing this for several millenia and that many women still do it at home with an infant mortality rate that is equal to those born in hospitals.
ReplyDeleteJust because we don't have medical degrees doesn't mean we're schmucks!
I'll be hoping for you that labor arrives prior to Monday so that it's all moot!
Ditto what Murgdan says. If he's moving the same amount as always, there's no reason to worry. And very reason to hope your cervix will become more favourable.
ReplyDeleteEveryone above is so right,I think you have to have a say in what is right for your body and baby too.I will be thinking of you in this final week and sending you good vibes through the computer from Australia.xThe last week drags by SOOOO slow I am really over this waiting too but when he is in your arms it will all seem okx
ReplyDeleteif you can avoid the pitocin then do it, i was in a lot of pain before my epidural and before i had pitocin, then i got the epidural and i felt SO much better, but as soon as they started the pitocin the contractions broke through and it totally sucked, i'm not goona lie or sugarcoat it, i don't want to scare you but i want to be honest with you. after twenty hours i couldn't take it anymore and i opted for a c-section.
ReplyDelete