Saturday, December 19, 2009


I've heard people refer to their miscarried babies as angels, but I never fully understood. Then today, I said something that hurt Jack's feelings. I apologized and that was the end of it but it hit me, Speck and Bug never hurt anyone. They were pure innocence. Their hearts beat, they existed, but they came and left without any stains on their soul. I've spent a lot of time grieving the trees they will never climb, the kindergarten classes that will start without them, and the hugs and kisses I will never get to give, but they were also pure white innocence who helped make sunflower's life possible, and who left too soon. The only home they knew was my womb and while they were here they were angels. I feel proud to have been their mother.


  1. This is really sweet. And very very true. They are angels. May that always bring you comfort.

  2. they were innocent and perfect.

    we dont call our babies angels; we call them saints. angels, to us, never lived as humans; they are angelic, heavenly beings. but i know what you mean about your angels being angels when they were inside of you and how they never hurt anyone. i am so glad you feel proud to be their mom. you should be. :)

  3. what a beautiful thought.

  4. Beautiful honey. Isn't it so wonderful and strange and, yes, sad, to actually *realize* this?! It makes me smile.

    And I just read that you're 20 weeks. I can't fricking believe it ;) So excited for you.