If you've been reading you know we still haven't told Jack's family I'm pregnant despite the fact that I'm well into my second trimester. After some random people noticed my pregnancy I urged him to tell them this weekend. Once we got there, he changed his mind again. I didn't push it, if he did not feel comfortable who was I to force the issue?
Today as his sister and her family pulled out of the driveway, Jack looked at me and whispered, I'll tell my parents but I'm not ready to tell my sister. My relationship with my in-laws is a rocky one. I did not expect jumps for joy, or even a smile. Still, despite reminding myself the response was painful:
Jack: We have some good news to tell you.
MIL/FIL: What is it?
Jack: We're having a baby.
oh.Two years of stark white lines, two pregnancy losses one of which you witnessed in my home, and now we tell you that perhaps the hell we've endured might be behind us, that we are finally hopeful that a baby might be ours, and the reaction to your son having his first son, is oh?
Oh, is a fine reaction to us telling you I bought new shoes
Oh, is acceptable if I said I got a new job
Oh, is okay for pretty much any fucking thing else but...
when it comes to this, no, oh does not fucking cut it.
We stood there staring at them for a few seconds and then the silence got awkward and we got our luggage to leave. His mom finally mustered, how far along are you. I told her, FIL made a face. Why did he make a grimace? I don't know, but Jack saw the face, and the expression on his face broke my heart. He quietly told them, I shouldn't have told either of you, if you can't be happy you didn't deserve to know. They responded telling him he should respect his elders and what he said was not nice. We closed our car doors and drove away.
I should have expected this but seeing Jack's crestfallen face as he told me in the car, your parents are so excited, they are worried but they obviously care, I feel like I have no parents. It's just wrong. It's so easy to plaster a fake smile and feign joy. Why could not do this for him? He asked me why I was so worked up when I knew they would react like this, I just feel like, they don't deserve to have my baby in their life. He said we're not visiting them again, and if they want to see the baby they can come down and visit, but we're done for now.
I'm sad about their reaction but I don't regret telling them. No matter when we broke the news they would have reacted like this. I do feel sad for my sunflower that he will have a set of grandparents who just won't give him the love he deserves. I had a set of grandparents that didn't care about me, who treated me like a nuisance taking up space. I cried because I don't want my baby to ever feel this way. Luckily Jack agrees, and if they continue behaving in this manner, it will be them who miss out and it is their loss entirely.
Hope y'all thanksgiving weekend went way better.