Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dipping my toes in facebook

I quit facebook over a year ago for many reasons. There was a lot of drama, I felt like I was in high school again as facebook is a place where many (not all) use as a showcase of their best self. The prettiest pictures and bubbly updates. If you didn't know any better, everyone on facebook has a perfect life. This is fine, but after update after update about pregnancy news, and birth announcements, I decided why throw myself into drama that is unnecessary, and why hurt myself with these constant announcements? I quit. Quitting facebook had a direct correlation to my social life. People use facebook for everything now including inviting people, if you don't show up on the sidebar, most people simply forget you. After a year of forgetting you become invisible.

I logged on today just to see what it would feel like. IF I get signed by an agent I'm pretty sure they will make me have a facebook account and other social networking accounts like twitter. I am 15 weeks pregnant. I am going shopping today for maternity jeans. And yet, logging on and seeing all these new babies, women I didn't even know were pregnant showing off swollen stomachs, I felt pummeled. This makes NO sense since I am pregnant too, but for some reason I guess my mentality is still that of an infertile miscarrier, an I still feel like an outcast.

Facebook began as a very fun opportunity for me. I enjoyed catching up with old friends and staying in touch with far away friends. I think somewhere along the way the definition of "friendship" loosened on facebook and even people you tangentially knew became friends. You might not feel like you should add them, but then, you feel rude ignoring. Soon you were getting newsfeeds from people, so many people whose minutiae does not intrigue you. Despite the potential wonderfulness of facebook, to see pictures of your friends and those you care for, the flipside of competition and negativity is too overwhelming. Maybe everyone does not have this experience on facebook. Maybe its just the community I'm part of, but it's just amazing to me how powerfully negative that site is for me.

I quickly deactivated my account.


  1. I completely understand. Sometimes I use DH's acct to check up on mutual friends :) But otherwise I avoid it like the plague. Ultimatelyh, the good just doesn't outweigh the bad for me.

    Hope you have fun shopping. Let us know if and where you find some great jeans :)

  2. I try to avoid the HSishness of it - but I love keeping in touch with my cousins in Boston and other friends and loved ones who live far away.

    I agree though - I avoid all nonsense that makes me feel badly.

  3. I feel the EXACT same way about facebook... I definitely feel drawn to it, and I am missing out on a deeper level of connection to my MOMS Club chapter because everyone but two of us are on there. But I am not interested in what seems like a constant "high school reunion" -- look how awesome my life is! I wish I could pop on and reconnect with a few people, but I have not created an account and have no plans to activate one.

    I'll be here with you, on the outside of FB!