Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I will not play cat and mouse

As you all know I moved to this blog because I suspected SIL had found me. Today she called Jack to discuss the logistics of their impending arrival. Jack said to me, it was kind of weird, she kept saying, 'sooooo whats new? anything you want to tell me?' He said it was strange and she said it in a gleeful sort of way like she knew something. I told him she probably read my blog but he thinks she's just being regular weird SIL.

I have a feeling, judging from SILs behavior, that she is going to play a game of cat and mouse with me. I am trying to convince Jack to tell his family, but until he decides to, she's going to 'play' with me. She loves doing that. My plan at the moment is to just address it if she chooses to play those games. I know she will judge me for being infertile (I waited too long), having losses (I waited too long) and being high risk (I waited too long), but really, so what? Just because she believes it, doesn't mean its true. I hope I can do this calmly and rationally. You only give people as much room to lord over you as you allow it. I am worried though because pregnancy makes me a tad. . . pissed. There are some other things I know she will try to make me squirm about (some embarrasing things that happened at my brothers wedding in May), but I'm going to do my best to make a poker face and bite my lip as best I can.

What makes me feel funny is her mentality is that if she did read that blog, her reaction was glee at learning my secret, and not sadness that though we told my parents and brothers, we have yet to tell her. It's strange that the emotion that comes to the forefront of her mind is a childlike giddiness at finding me out, and not sadness that her brother feels so uncomfortable sharing his happy news with his family that he's waiting until Im practically in the labor room before he says a word.


  1. She sounds like a complete asshole I hope you are able to deal with her quickly and then ignore her.

  2. I also have a SIL (my brothers wife) who is pure evil. She find joy in making others miserable. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

  3. I hope you can convince Jack to tell them ASAP and not let her feel like she is holding any cards. Maybe you can mentally prepare some good responses to her cutting remarks about waiting too long (like "Yeah, waiting until I was 50 to try to have a baby was NOT a good choice on my part!") and she'll get the message that she can't ruffle your feathers. Clearly that's what she wants. Just agree with her in a backhanded way and I bet she won't know how to respond.

    (As an aside -- you must be hiding your baby bump well!! With my son I waited until it was obvious to tell my boss and I could only go 14 weeks before coworkers eyed me suspiciously and actually asked directly if I was pregnant.) :)