Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Ultrasound

I've been without internet since Sunday so I apologize for writing a post about my Tuesday ultrasound and then never updating again. I was ready to head to a starbucks to update my blog until we managed to get a cable tech here to connect us again. Phew!

The ultrasound went well. I was at 6w1d and a heartbeat of 115 with a due date of January 3, 2013.

I cried like a baby because I was convinced I was getting bad news, but while I'm relieved that things are good right now I'm still skeptical. For one, I thought I'd be further along. Second, I have no symptoms at all really. I have been getting weird emotions lately, like one minute I feel so upset and unhappy and empty I feel there is no point to life [all the while knowing in my rational mind this is crazy] and then the next minute feeling normal. It's like there are storms brewing inside of me and just like real weather and climate I can't control it, much. I guess this is a symptom but really, nothing else.

Still, all is good right now. I'm trying not to be skeptical. I believe somewhere deep down I'm doing this because I'm trying to protect myself from potential hurt that may come by being prepared but you can't ever prepare so I may as well enjoy the moment. Like Mo said on her blog about her own pregnancy, sometimes things just take time that is the only thing that will help one feel better. The doctor is seeing me the week after next for a quick peek to still my nerves and here's hoping the news remains good!

5 comments:

  1. your hormones are RAGING right now, what you are feeling is totally normal. i think it's a good sign actually because it's a SYMPTOM and isn't that always what we are searching for? just one clue that we are REALLY pregnant? i completely understand your skepticism, i have been there. are you considering lovenox again? i know you probably posted about this already but i'm sure you understand that i might be a little behind :)

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  2. Yay for good news! So happy for you!
    And remember, this is another pregnancy, so there are different symptoms. Maybe it's a girl. :-)

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  3. Wonderful news!! The way you describe feeling sounds totally normal. Sending positive thoughts your way!

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  4. Early pregnancy is hard because there's so little validation that anything is happening.

    Sounds like all is good. One day at a time!

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  5. Congratulations on your great, affirming ultrasound!
    Sounds perfect.
    Symptoms coming and going are the devil's work, I say. I hated that. Just know it is common (not that that helps, I know).

    Hang in there! and coolest due date: 1/3/13 I'm just sayin'.

    warm wishes to you,
    breathe breathe breathe (you are pregnant!)
    Kate

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