First off, thank you to all of you who left such sweet comments on my previous post. I post here so infrequently so amazed that you're still here, and ever so grateful since outside of y'all only my husband, my best friend, and my mother knows. I'm pregnant. But I know nothing is certain, particularly at this early stage in the game. If you also read my other blog, I won't be writing about anything pregnancy related until I feel truly confident things will be okay, which might be around the 36th week. [old habits die hard? Oh, and my sister-in-law reads it religiously and I'm superstitious about pregnancy. . . ]
My doctor's appointment is Friday. The positive line was super-dark. Does that mean anything? Does it imply a stronger pregnancy than a faint one? [wow, it didn't take long for my inner crazy to come out did it?] Symptom-wise nothing much happening except I feel like someone has snuck tranquilizers into everything I've eaten today. I am so tired I want to just lie down and nap constantly. And my son is an energizer bunny so this combination is not working great especially when I can't get my sustenance from caffeine in the quantities I once did.
It's a good problem to have.
Since last posting about my efforts to lose weight I've gone from weighing 167 pounds to 145 pounds which puts me safely in a healthy BMI for my height. I had ten more pounds to go to reach my goal weight, but that is perfectly okay!!! This is a good place to start a new pregnancy and unlike the last time when I ate as if the planet would be devoid of food any minute now, I'm going to try to do better.
The issue is relearning new eating habits. I've been sustaining on 800 calories daily since January 2. Once in a while I'll splurge up to 1200 calories but those moments are very rare. I'm used to eating fruit and tea for breakfast. Egg and toast for lunch. A small snack. And a sensible dinner prepared healthy. Now I'm confused how many calories I should consume afraid to take too little and hurt anything going on, and afraid to eat too many because diabetes [and gestational diabetes] is a real and present danger and I don't want to deal with it if I dont' have to. It's odd to have to relearn how to eat more when I was for so long trying to learn how to eat less.
Right now the plan is to eat egg and toast for breakfast, a salad with cheese and olives and an olive oil dressing for lunch, all the fruit and vegetable snacks I desire and a handful of nuts, and a sensible dinner. I can't be certain how many calories this is, but I'm hoping with the focus on good nutrients this will be okay? I also began power walking thirty minutes today and plan to bump it up to an hour a day because going through labor unfit the first time around I realized the value of having endurance.
This is all so surreal. So different than last time. I am hoping for good things. I'm prepared for the worst [as prepared as anyone can be, which is, not much]. And despite my heavy lidded eyes, I'm happy. Ever so happy. Ever so hopeful.