Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Thoughts on Sleeplessness

Sleep. I once guarded my sleep like a jealous husband. Sure I enjoyed a late night hangout with friends but the magic number was eight. Namely, I required eight hours of sleep to function be it all in the night hours or trickling into the afternoon. Even in law school where all nighters were a given, I might have stayed up past 3am on many a night, but that only meant I woke up at 11am the next day. Eight. Consecutive hours. I stress the consecutive because while my little boy respects the number eight, [heck he'll even sleep 18 hours on some days] he missed the memo on the whole consecutive thing.

During pregnancy veteran mama friends urged me with bleary eyes to rest as much as you can now! Sleep in for as long as you can stand it! Except that as humans, as opposed to bears, we can't really stock up on sleep via hibernation. So all the lazy Sunday mornings waking up and lazing about don't really help me at 3am as I rock a beautiful babe to sleep.

I snatch sleep when I can but heavy lids are now a constant companion. This past weekend Jack took a night shift, and my visiting parents took an early morning shift and I got two nights of six consecutive hours of sleep. It felt amazing. I heard there comes a time they sleep six hours in a row on the regular. Right now this sounds as mythical as the land of Oz but one can hope.

They say the best things in life are free. As I remember my sleep I know this to be true, but this lack of sleep is because of the truly best thing in my life, the one that has no price because it is truly priceless. Him. For him a thousand sleepless nights are worth it a thousand times over.

Sleep is one of our most intractable attachments. We claw and clutch and crave it. We adorn and worship it. We four hundred thread count it. It is our one sovereign domain. We hide out there; we fantasize and burrow there; we think we can't live without it. You will see that you can live without it- just enough. -Momma Zen

7 comments:

  1. you'll get more sleep soon, louise slept through the night when she was six or seven weeks old, she doesn't ANYMORE, but it was gloious while it lasted and even though she only occasionally sleeps through the night now, she still sleeps for good long stretches of four to six hours at a time.

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  2. Yes, like katery said, it's not forever. I am getting the same advice, "Sleep while you can!" and I have the same reaction that you did - well ok but I don't see how that's going to help me later! One thing to think about - humans' natural sleep cycle goes in roughly 3 hour bouts. Even if we squish 2 or 3 together every night, it's perfectly sustainable to only sleep 3-ish hrs at a time. My dad had to live that way once when he was sailing a boat accross the Pacific by himself. I'm sure there are plenty of examples. That's what I'm going to remind myself when the going gets tough. Altho I don't know what I will do when I have to go back to work and need to cram that magic 8 hours into, well, 8 hours.

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  3. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to "bank" sleep? That could come in handy in so many ways! I think you're doing awesome, and your little guy has the best mommy in the whole world!!

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  4. I'm totally with you...and actually amazed at how little I'm making it on. So worth it though :)

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  5. hehe im right there with ya

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  6. Bet you never thought you'd be so happy to survive on so little sleep, eh? Hopefully, it'll get a little better soon!

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  7. This is one subject that worries me. I need my sleep, I am a hot mess without it. Now. I truly hope this will change in 10 weeks or so.
    It's good to hear that it is manageable. ;-)

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