Thursday, June 10, 2010

Happy One Month Birthday

Dear W,

When I was pregnant with you the days crept at snail's pace and now that you're here time shows no promise of slowing down. Some days I forget what day of the week it is since days and nights blend together seamlessly [as evidenced by the fact that your birthday was officially several days earlier!] This was a month of firsts. Your first car ride, your first doctor visit and first shot (ouch), your first cuddle and kiss. Sometimes I catch you staring with wide-eyed fascination at the fan, a brightly colored pillow or the gentle glow of the lamp and I'm reminded that everything is new to you, everything is a first. I wish I could ask you someday what it feels like to experience the world so new but like everyone before you and since you won't remember these moments that I will never forget.

On the surface it could seem like a mundane month. You eat, you sleep, you poop. But there is already so much more to you. Each day you grow and change. I'm amazed how someone so small dictates the life of everyone around him. I wake when you wake. I sleep when you sleep. You cry, I run. You smile, I melt.

I've held other people's babies before. Babies who in my arms turned from cooing angels into crying trembling creatures who I could simply not console. While pregnant with you I harbored a secret fear: what if I could not console you? The day they handed you to me you were indeed a crying trembling creature in but once in my arms your cries stopped, your eyes widened and you stared at me as if you had been searching for me your entire life.

Once upon a time I was a teacher and I met an amazing student. An Afghani refugee. He had seen his father die and his mother lose a leg to an IED. The things he endured could break a grown man and yet he came to school each day with a large smile and a zest for life. He was so funny, not like a little child, his sarcastic sense of humor made all the teachers laugh. The children respected him almost as an elder, as if they knew that inside this little boy was an old wise soul. Some people have a nur [light] that radiates from them and touches your heart- he had a special nur that touched everyone he met. In the middle of the school year he told me he was moving to Sacramento. We hugged each other and cried. I never saw him again. His name was W and he was easily one of the most special people I ever met.

Welcome to the world, you may only be one month old but you've been in my heart all my life.

Your Mama


  1. awwwww!! so sweet! i LOVE it that you named him after that little boy.

  2. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this with us!

  3. when louise was 6-7 weeks she was sleeping through the night, but if she hadn't been, if she had been waking up, i would have fed her, i think you're supposed to when they're that little. if you're going to sleep train they recommend starting at four months but i'm not a big advocate for sleep training. when my 18 week old baby wakes up alone in a dark room in the middle of the night and starts crying, my instincts tell me to pick her up, and when it comes to taking care of your baby i think it's important to listen to your instincts, i mean, there's a reason we have them, right? but that's just my personal opinion, i know lots of people who subscribe to the whole sleep training program.
    louise's main reflux symptoms were extreme fussiness (i thought she had colic, it was awful) and LOTS of spitting up. if waleed has reflux i don't think he's too young for zantac, that's what louise started on when she was about 6 or 7 weeks old. it has a pretty strong mint flavor but what's worse, a few seconds of taking yucky medicine or 24 hours of acid creeping up you esophagus? in addition to the pain and vomiting that reflux causes, it can also cause an aversion to food and can cause you baby to choke and turn blue, so i would give him the zantac, but you have to do what's right for you. my advice would be to listen to your instincts regarding sleeping, eating and reflux. if you try the zantac and he gets better then you'll know it was reflux, and if he doesn't you can try something else.

  4. also, if you're concerned about the minty taste of the zantac you can tell your doctor you want prevacid solutabs instead, they are more expensive but have a less unpleasant taste,

  5. Love your letter and the meaning behind your name!

  6. Such a touching letter!
    *HUGS* to you both

  7. Aw that is a beautiful story - and a great name sake!

  8. That was beautiful. I do hope that you'll print it for him or maybe you could have it made into some sort of print, a keepsake for when he's older. And what a great way of getting a name. My mother liked the name of her bestfriends chocolate lab, and that is how I became Myndi. Not nearly as interesting a story as your little boy!

  9. Such a beautiful letter and SUCH A BEAUTIFUL baby-- oh my Kate, he is just gorgeous.

    sending love