Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My New Look

I've always liked my anonymity here. I have another blog which is less anonymous where I wear my race and faith on my sleeve. I'm used to the 'burden of the minority' which is when you are part of a minority your actions can often be taken to represent the beliefs and views of all of your particular minority. I handle this well for the most part. I strive to break the negative stereotypes but when I began a blog about IF and loss I wanted to not have to go into that part of myself. I wanted a place where no one would see my name or the color of my skin and begin to make assumptions. I could write about family politics, or anger or sadness without worrying that anyone would accidentally make a sweeping generalization of my faith or race as a whole. I liked that. I kind of didn't mind keeping it that way. And then came Faisal Shahzad. The seemingly nice and normal assimilated Muslim-American who decided to try and plant a bomb in Times Square. Stupid. Idiotic. Deplorable. And then I read Zeitoun. The heroic man who stayed behind in Katrina to help and was thrown into a Gitmo like prison system without any regard for his rights. And I decided that though I'm not comfortable going completely unanonymous- maybe its good to share a little of who I am beyond the IF and the loss. Maybe its good that you see my faith and my race. So you know that there are Pakistani-Americans, Muslims, who struggled like you. Who are good. Who are hard working contributing members of society. I'm just one of billions. And I'm more interested in the color of my baby's poo or the buzz on the movie Inception. I'm the norm. But people like me don't make headlines. We don't make news stories. So in my little corner of this huge internet sea- I'm going to tell you who I am. And hope that it doesn't matter to you at all.

14 comments:

  1. It doesn't bother me one bit. I've grown up with Pakistani-Americans and other similar cultures, even dated some. I understand the burden of the minority (I'm black, DH is white and sometimes with his family it's a huge burden). Bravo for coming out on this blog. I haven't really commented, but I've been following for months now.

    Teamjinfred.wordpress.com

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  2. In terms of IF, it doesn't matter - I see as many Asian men and women in my clinic as I do "white" people (whatever that means - I'm "white" which puts me in the majority, except I live in California, so I'm a minority and I'm Jewish which really makes me a minority).

    But it does matter, because it's who you are. While you are just a normal American, you are also the counter-example to those terrorists. I am sorry that you have to "come out" as a way of showing the goodness of your culture and your religion. It is important for ALL of us to speak out against violence in the name of religion. All religions are guilty of this. Just check out the Catholic church right now - the Vatican is still covering up for pedophiles. There are Jews in Israel who believe they can live on other people's land and be supported by the state while they spend all day praying. I could go on and on.

    You are you. The color of your skin and your cultural background is important. It will shape how you raise your children, where you live.

    It doesn't have anything to do with IF, tho. And it shouldn't shape how any of us in the IF community see you. We are all in the same boat.

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  3. I am SO glad you've decided to go slightly unanonymous. We've had this conversation off-blog before, but I think it's important - what you're doing - and brave, and I think W. has a pretty impressive woman for a mom. And I can't wait to hear more about your life - about all of the different aspects of your life.

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  4. i thought based on your and jack's names that you might be muslim (kind of a silly generalization i guess), but it was clear to me that you didn't really want to reveal that and it didn't/doesn't really matter to me one way or the other so i never asked.
    i am embarrassed for the way that white americans behave toward muslim americans, i know we don't ALL behave that way, but many do. i look forward to hearing things from your perspective in future posts :)

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  5. Doesn't make an ounce of difference to me. You're the same lovely person as always.

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  6. Count me as someone else who cares far more about the color of Baby W's poo (about which I am now expecting a post), than the color of your (or his, or anyone's for that matter) skin.

    Don't get me wrong, I care in as much as it relates to you and your experience, but it doesn't change who you are to me.

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  7. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have long since found a persons personality speaks far more of their character and worth than the color of their skin, their religion, their gender, their sexual choice. You have spoken from your heart to our hearts. You are a new mom and a strong woman. That is what matters.

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  8. Hey, love the new look of the blog and I think it's great that you're 'outing' more about yourself. I can understand the pull towards omission of certain details about ourselves and our lives, but I think the more honest we can be the better these blogs work for us so I applaud it.

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  9. I love the new look. One day I will get around to renaming my blog. I just haven't figured it out yet.

    You are who you are, and I wouldn't worry a lick if someone didn't like you for your faith, religion, or color. :) I liked you before I knew what color you were and none of that matters to me anyway.

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  10. :) Doesn't change much for me, I still count you as a close bloggy freind!

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  11. Good for you! I find that I bear my true colors more on my blog than in real life in any case....it's one of the few places I can really be myself. Glad you can share a little more of yourself.

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  12. Not to me! BTW - Inception was long. Really long!

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  13. Doesn't mean a thing but I'm excited to learn more about you! :)

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  14. Thanks for sharing, honey. I look forward to reading more about you. So nice to meet you all over again :)

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