Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Ultrasound, gender, and name advice


It's official, we have the proof along with some cute profile shots of the little one hanging on our fridge from our 20 week ultrasound that we are definitely 100% having another little boy. I think we were in shock because the tech at our 13 week ultrasound the tech pointed out what she insisted were girl parts. So, we had picked out a girl name, I was researching books on raising girls and then, well, no- boy.

Sunny wrote a while back about the sympathetic looks she gets from people now that she is a mom to four boys and no girls and how this rankled her considering all that she had went through. I havent been getting too much of this though I do get the ocassional well you can always go for a third, but while I am so thankful for my boy[s] because forget having a girl or a boy, I'm just thankful to be a mother and to have a child [soon to be children] but the fact that I might never have a daughter to pass down my jewelry, and to share the mother-daughter connection, does give me a moment to pause. It also fascinates me because I'm from a culture that values boys above all else. One of my aunts had five daughters in pursuit of her sixth son. Until she had that boy it was despair and doom and gloom. It's weird to think that some of my relatives are jealous that I get to have boys like its nothing while I just wanted a healthy and happy baby regardless of what was between their legs. A girl or a boy, they are unique people who have never before inhabited this earth and will bring something new and beautiful. And my relationship with a daughter is undeniably going to be different than with a son, but is it a lesser relationship? I'd like to think not.

A friend of mine is pregnant and due at the same time as me. She really wanted a daughter but is having a son. She is so disappointed. She says she's not but its written all over her face. When I tell her how fun boys are, she just looks at me like a daughter is funner. I have to admit, having mentally gotten ready for a little girl I understand that pang of disappointment. I never did understand it before. Before when someone wanted one sex over another I felt pure revulsion. But now, on some level I get that a person can want a boy and a girl. But when I see my friend's sadness all I can think is you have no fucking clue. When you get pregnant right away, I think some of that perspective is lost. You think you're entitled to a boy or a girl when youre not entitled to shit. I try to be patient because perhaps I too would sulk if I hadn't had to really face the potential of never having children.

But in any case, I'm having a little boy. And come December/January I cannot wait to meet him.

On an totally different topic I need your advice. We are considering a name. Since we are looking at arabic origin name this name is the arabic for Moses: Musa.

My husband loves this name beyond all else but I'm worried kids might tease him with that name? [I was a teacher and I was a kid who was picked on] he pointed out that who would have thought my name would get picked on but it was. That any name can be teased [handy Andy]. What do you think of this name? Honest opinions would be greatly appreciated as in my culture this would be a beautiful name but I am wodnering, does it sound like a little kid's name to you? Does it sound easy to pick on? would it look silly on a resume or on a fully grown man? any perspective much appreciated.


  1. Congrats! I'm expecting a boy right before Christmas. :)

    First impression of Musa - if I saw it written I'd probably think it's a girl's name due to the 'a' ending. For pronounciation, you'd probably get Moo-sah and Miu-sah. Moose seems like the obvious nickname.

    We're considering an unusual first name too, so I've been doing a lot of thinking about names recently. My husband happens to work with someone who has the first name we're considering and he said he hated it until he was about 8 because it was different and he got teased, and then he liked it.

  2. Thanks Brave IVF, Moo-sah is exactly how its pronounced which is another HUGE deal for us because we really want people to be able to say the name easily as many arabic names are tongue twisters and not easily pronouncable. Thanks for the perspective. Is Moose an offensive nickname?

    Congrats on your little Christmas present boy!!!! hoping all goes well with it and with the naming, its such an important decision isn't it??

  3. I wouldn't consider it a weird name--I'd've guessed 'moo-sah' too, for pronunciation. We call Hen 'moose' all the time because he's big (and a wee bit clumsy!) so I wouldn't call it an offensive nickname, but one that definitely has 'big clumsy boy' overtones. (Which, I don't think most boys would mind as a nickname at all.)
    If it were my little boy, I'd totally be calling him 'my little moose' just like Henry is 'my little hen'. I'm all for nicknamable names!

    As far as the ending-in-'A' sound goes, I think it might take people a bit of time to get used to it, but then no one will even remember they ever thought it odd. When I worked in a very Egyptian neighborhood in Queens, the most overwhelmingly popular boys' name was 'Mina'. (pronounced Meena)

    At first, the name sounded very 'girly' to me, but I heard it so often that now when I occasionally hear Mina used as a girl's name now, I blink a little bit--why does that little girl have a boy's name?

    And congratulations on another little boy. I'm with you in that all that matters is the happiness & healthiness of the baby, but there is something wonderful about being a mommy to a little boy--as you know! And I think that brothers have a special bond--especially as close in age as he & W will be. What a lovely family you have! So very happy for you!

  4. another boy, congrats aisha, that is great news! it's definitely not just your culture that prefers boys, i think it's ALL cultures, which is really quite sad. although i'm ashamed to admit it, there was a brief moment when we found out we were having a girl that i was a little disappointed. i mean, after all we went through to actually HAVE a baby, any baby, i really didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, but my husband already had a daughter and i really wanted to give him the experience of having a son. of course, if he was disappointed at all he never let on, he was just happy we were FINALLY getting what we worked so hard for, and he loves both of his daughters very much.

    as far as a name goes, i don't think you should worry too much about him being teased, kids are total assholes and if it's not someone's name they're making fun of, there are plenty of other reasons they can find to make fun of someone. i must admit, i'm pretty clueless about your religion, does moses have a place in it? if not, then what is the significance of naming him after moses? maybe there is no significance, perhaps you just like the name? when we were choosing louise's name there were a few things that were important to us. for one thing, we really wanted to use a family name, her name is louise christine, louise was carl's mother's middle name and christine is my mother's middle name, but my mom goes by christine. she was raised irish catholic and it's pretty common for them to use mary (my mom's first name) as a first name and call them by their middle name since so many irish catholic women are named mary. another thing that was important to us was that while we didn't want a common name, we also didn't want an unusual name (she already has to deal with ylinen as a last name, try spelling THAT to someone over the phone), hence, louise, spelled the normal old fashioned way. my cousin just had a baby a couple of months ago and she named her finula (irish), i'm pretty sure people will be getting that wrong for the majority of her life.

  5. Susan, thanks, I never would have thought Musa could be considerd a girl name except on googling I found some people do name their girls Musa. Interesting. Thanks again.

    Kate, yes, Musa/Moses is a huge part of the Islamic faith as well. We have almost all of the same stories of Christianity because Islam believes in the Bible and the Jewish Torah as holy books and believe in the stories in those books. The one key and critical area that is different is that we believe that Jesus was a prophet like Moses was a prophet and not the son of God, other than that huge and critical difference, we believe pretty much everything else the same. I love the story of Moses/Musa and its an easy name to say.

    Thanks for sharing your thought process on having a little girl. It's normal to feel a certain way I guess, but the key is to move past it, which we both have! And yes, as someone who always has to spell her name, its VERY frustrating to do, so I'm sure Louise appreciates the thought and care put into her name :)

    1. well i guess that shows how much i know about islam, not enough! perhaps i should educate myself a bit on it so i don't sound so clueless next time ;)

  6. Congratulations on having another healthy child of the masculine variety! :-)
    I am Mina (mee-na) too, and it is a very Romanian name which surprisingly gets misspelled and mispronounced often (especially by En speakers). So I think whatever you chose, there will always be someone adding or taking some letter out the name.

  7. Good God! If they mess up Mina, there's no hope for anyone. Seriously strange. Thanks for the perspective!